The why-everyone-doesn't-work-offshore thread

[Ritten]

Today makes 11 days I've been on the rig.....no big deal except that the cabin fever has been REALLY bad this hitch. Let me elaborate a bit...

There is a 150 foot pathway that encompases my entire day. With my office/lab on one end, and my bedroom on the other. During the entire 12 hours that I am sitting here on the computer, phone, or holding conversations there is an 1800 horsepower triplex pump 10 feet below me that vibrates the entire steel room that I'm in. During surface hole drilling that pump has an output of 427 gallons a minute under 3000psi. At 95 strokes a minute it's similar to riding over 3 inch speed bumps in your car just as fast. Today I sent in the third desktop in the last 4 months due to the components being torn apart, but my nerves are expected to hold together for two solid weeks!?!?

The "new" cook has been on the here for three weeks already, so the food quality is on it's cycle down and we're about to run out of P,B&J because of it. The oilfield is certainly no different from the rest of the world and stupid people are prevalent in every aspect of drilling. I'd like to get hold of the neck attatched to the person who recommended running polymer in seawater for riserless drilling cause it'll "produce a more guage wellbore". B.S.!!!

I guess every job out there has it's own aspects to grip about and I'm not saying I'd want another, but damn it gets depressing when your relief, the only person you look forward to seeing each day, is a 6'3" countrified redneck, whos verbal skills are reminiscent of "slingblade", only wants to talk about tractors and 'maters, and leaves spit cups all over the lab. Knowing that this guy is a chemical engineer ought to give those young students out there PLENTY of hope. For now I'm eagerly W.O.W. (waiting on wednesday) and already riding backroads in my mind.

[Juice]

Boy, That explanation sounds just like being married.qwer But when "YOU" go home the drilling and all the vibrations stop. At least you can escape the redneck for the next 14 days......





Today makes 11 days I've been on the rig.....no big deal except that the cabin fever has been REALLY bad this hitch. Let me elaborate a bit...

There is a 150 foot pathway that encompases my entire day. With my office/lab on one end, and my bedroom on the other. During the entire 12 hours that I am sitting here on the computer, phone, or holding conversations there is an 1800 horsepower triplex pump 10 feet below me that vibrates the entire steel room that I'm in. During surface hole drilling that pump has an output of 427 gallons a minute under 3000psi. At 95 strokes a minute it's similar to riding over 3 inch speed bumps in your car just as fast. Today I sent in the third desktop in the last 4 months due to the components being torn apart, but my nerves are expected to hold together for two solid weeks!?!?

The "new" cook has been on the here for three weeks already, so the food quality is on it's cycle down and we're about to run out of P,B&J because of it. The oilfield is certainly no different from the rest of the world and stupid people are prevalent in every aspect of drilling. I'd like to get hold of the neck attatched to the person who recommended running polymer in seawater for riserless drilling cause it'll "produce a more guage wellbore". B.S.!!!

I guess every job out there has it's own aspects to grip about and I'm not saying I'd want another, but damn it gets depressing when your relief, the only person you look forward to seeing each day, is a 6'3" countrified redneck, whos verbal skills are reminiscent of "slingblade", only wants to talk about tractors and 'maters, and leaves spit cups all over the lab. Knowing that this guy is a chemical engineer ought to give those young students out there PLENTY of hope. For now I'm eagerly W.O.W. (waiting on wednesday) and already riding backroads in my mind.

[Ritten]

Boy, That explanation sounds just like being married.qwer But when "YOU" go home the drilling and all the vibrations stop. At least you can escape the redneck for the next 14 days......


No kidding huh? Imagine the guys who work out here and ARE married!!!

[JayD]

I guess every job out there has it's own aspects to grip about and I'm not saying I'd want another,



Ted, I understand there are openings in these feilds :D
http://www.deadzonevideo.com/Photogallery/Best/293240-showletter.jpg

http://www.deadzonevideo.com/Photogallery/Best/266693-bomb_squad.jpg

http://www.deadzonevideo.com/Photogallery/Best/target.jpg


Hang in there bro :)

[Flying Low]

hey JayD you forgot to post a picture of my job!

Ted,
I feel you pain bro. I certainly don't have my dream job.

[Ritten]

http://www.deadzonevideo.com/Photogallery/Best/target.jpg[/IMG]


Hang in there bro :)




Man, everytime I see that bottom picture I can't quit laughing. The look on that dude's face is EXACTLY how I felt this morning! Thanks JayD.

[scootertrash]

Could always be worse Ted, can always be worse.




































But it can always be better to...... :)

[dannyt]

It could always be worst.......You could be a COP!!

[yankeegirl]

Holy shit! The second picture with the guy sitting next to the bomb and the other one about to pop a bag behind him....I can't stop laughing!!!

[blkhalo996]

Today makes 11 days I've been on the rig.....no big deal except that the cabin fever has been REALLY bad this hitch. Let me elaborate a bit...

There is a 150 foot pathway that encompases my entire day. With my office/lab on one end, and my bedroom on the other. During the entire 12 hours that I am sitting here on the computer, phone, or holding conversations there is an 1800 horsepower triplex pump 10 feet below me that vibrates the entire steel room that I'm in. During surface hole drilling that pump has an output of 427 gallons a minute under 3000psi. At 95 strokes a minute it's similar to riding over 3 inch speed bumps in your car just as fast. Today I sent in the third desktop in the last 4 months due to the components being torn apart, but my nerves are expected to hold together for two solid weeks!?!?

The "new" cook has been on the here for three weeks already, so the food quality is on it's cycle down and we're about to run out of P,B&J because of it. The oilfield is certainly no different from the rest of the world and stupid people are prevalent in every aspect of drilling. I'd like to get hold of the neck attatched to the person who recommended running polymer in seawater for riserless drilling cause it'll "produce a more guage wellbore". B.S.!!!

I guess every job out there has it's own aspects to grip about and I'm not saying I'd want another, but damn it gets depressing when your relief, the only person you look forward to seeing each day, is a 6'3" countrified redneck, whos verbal skills are reminiscent of "slingblade", only wants to talk about tractors and 'maters, and leaves spit cups all over the lab. Knowing that this guy is a chemical engineer ought to give those young students out there PLENTY of hope. For now I'm eagerly W.O.W. (waiting on wednesday) and already riding backroads in my mind.



You think you got it bad? Tomorrow, I'll have been out two weeks, and two more to go. The food, don't even want to go there. There is nothing like sitting down to a meal and actually watch a goat,,,,not a leg, but a whole fuck'n goat, all stiff and shit,,,,get whack up with a big ass machettee (SP). At least you can have somewhat of a conversation with mr.redneck. I'm surrounded by either have broken english speaking, pidgin english (look that one up on the net), portuguese, and some that seem they have no verbal skills what so ever. I have learned that they call rice "more", because every time they are getting a plate, they just keep saying, "MORE! MORE!" Try working in west Africa for a while? Then tell me about your problems with running out fo PB and J. I remember when I first rode a rig over,,,,people would have killed for a can of potted meat! But hey, it pays the bills and pays for my toys,,,,not to mention the wife and two kids!

[Ritten]

Man, I tell you what......ya'll have some jobs that truly SUCK!!! Thanks, I feel much better now.

Redfinger Redfinger

[HeReaux]

Hang in there big guy..


Yall just THINK, you've had job's that suck.
The things a man will do,to put food on the table for the kid's,it would make you shudder...
"the horror,the horror" In my brando voice..

[nickatnite]

The "new" cook has been on the here for three weeks already, so the food quality is on it's cycle down and we're about to run out of P,B&J because of it..

Well, from my bedroom to my office is all of 10' feet maybe? You've been here..
I'm on day 7.

On a good note tho~ We got us a hot dog machine last week!

[weave]

Thanks guys I needed the reality check, you guys earn your time off.

[Team Redneck]

Sounds like my relief.

Hang in there hand, go watch the roughnecks pull a wet string, or clean pits, or replace a module on a mudpump, you'll be happy to go back to the lab and talk 'maters with your relief!!l

[ncognito70508]

YEEEHAAAAAAAAA..... I'm ready to ride. But this blue shit is all around me.

[minig0d]

heh but least y'all are making the big bucks working offshore and then get a couple weeks to NOT have to work.... gotta look on the BRIGHT side :)

[ncognito70508]

heh but least y'all are making the big bucks working offshore and then get a couple weeks to NOT have to work.... gotta look on the BRIGHT side :)

Shit! Walk in my shoes brother. Offshore aint what its all cracked up to be. Try keeping the largest remote controlled equipment running, not knowing how half the shit works, babysetting some of the dumbest, laziest, knuckle-dragging, mouth breathers for 3-4 sometimes 5-6 weeks at a time. Act as head firefighter, with gasoline soaked skivies trying to apeze a bi-polar company man. And then the fucking ex-monster is still bitchin' actcha' cause you work offshore.
I feel for my offshore brothers, when the blues come, it comes hard. But your right, that first ride when you get in is priceless...................

[Team Redneck]

Shit! Walk in my shoes brother. Offshore aint what its all cracked up to be. Try keeping the largest remote controlled equipment running, not knowing how half the shit works, babysetting some of the dumbest, laziest, knuckle-dragging, mouth breathers for 3-4 sometimes 5-6 weeks at a time. Act as head firefighter, with gasoline soaked skivies trying to apeze a bi-polar company man. And then the fucking ex-monster is still bitchin' actcha' cause you work offshore.
I feel for my offshore brothers, when the blues come, it comes hard. But your right, that first ride when you get in is priceless...................

You big puss....
All you do is sit in the ROV shack, with the A/c on strat-o-freeze, and surf (gay porn) the internet all day!!

[ncognito70508]

You big puss....
All you do is sit in the ROV shack, with the A/c on strat-o-freeze, and surf (gay porn) the internet all day!!

And you.......... You squat to piss........You set around in your hole surfing narcicist are us (ADVrider) hoping someone new signs on. Oh and by the way, I found a nude pic of you on a sex slave site the other day, I thought about putting it on ADV. See how the inmates would like Fault Bedwetter after that.

Cracker ass cracker

[blkhalo996]

babysetting some of the dumbest, laziest, knuckle-dragging, mouth breathers for 3-4 sometimes 5-6 weeks at a time. ..

So which part of the world are you working in? I'm going to take a guess,,,,Africa?

At first glance, I thought you might be Brit, because you used the word "skivies", but you used the word "gasoline" so you must be American working with Brits. Just some general observations being thrown out here. I'm offshore and I'm bored.qwer

[Team Redneck]

And you.......... You squat to piss........You set around in your hole surfing narcicist are us (ADVrider) hoping someone new signs on. Oh and by the way, I found a nude pic of you on a sex slave site the other day, I thought about putting it on ADV. See how the inmates would like Fault Bedwetter after that.

Cracker ass cracker

You might have found a pic of big, good looking dude, that was hung like a horse, and thought it was me, (I always thought you liked me just a little too much) but I can assure you, there are no pictures of me on the retardnet!!

And exactly does 'narcicist' mean, and how do you really spell it???

[Team Redneck]

So which part of the world are you working in? I'm going to take a guess,,,,Africa?

At first glance, I thought you might be Brit, because you used the word "skivies", but you used the word "gasoline" so you must be American working with Brits. Just some general observations being thrown out here. I'm offshore and I'm bored.qwer

Just an ex-dick, I mean deck swabber........ NAVY

In the NAVY, you can sail the seven seas,
In the NAVY........

[scootertrash]

In the Marine Corps you get to ride on the fine ships the NAvy has and get your ass thrown off them onto a beach........ fun fun fun fun fun!


Just an ex-dick, I mean deck swabber........ NAVY

In the NAVY, you can sail the seven seas,
In the NAVY........

[ncognito70508]

And exactly does 'narcicist' mean, and how do you really spell it???

Excuse me conan the grammarian..................

narcissist, someone in love with themselves.

[ncognito70508]

So which part of the world are you working in? I'm going to take a guess,,,,Africa?

At first glance, I thought you might be Brit, because you used the word "skivies", but you used the word "gasoline" so you must be American working with Brits. Just some general observations being thrown out here. I'm offshore and I'm bored.qwer


Believe it or not, the GOM.

[ncognito70508]

Scooter, it's good to now there is a Marine in the ranks. It helps keep everyone else in line, like Air Force weenies.

[Team Redneck]

Scooter, it's good to now there is a Marine in the ranks. It helps keep everyone else in line, like Air Force weenies.

Never slept in a tent....
Worked on clean F-15's......
Knocked of at 1600, and went to the Airmans club and drank cold, cheap beer!
Stumbled back to the A/C'ed barracks, and slept in a real bed!!!

It was/is a no-brainer!!!

[yankeegirl]

Scooter, it's good to now there is a Marine in the ranks. It helps keep everyone else in line, like Air Force weenies.

You better step back in line son, I am an Air Force vet and take offense to that. I can't believe that you were in the military and your going to insult another member of the "same team" ??!! I went through some rough shit...weeks of survival training, ground combat skills training, weapons tactics and swat team training..and what did you do? Have you been to Iraq? Have you been to Saudi? Have you been shot at? If so, I feel sorry for you that you have this opinion. Just because the Air Force takes better care of they're people doesn't make us weak.
And for anyone else that has a problem with that and is going to say shit about someone else from another branch, but we're fighting for the same side...you'll be hearing from me....It's too bad that the government is wasting alot of money and time on idiots that still have they're heads up they're own ass. Think about what country your fighting for and who your fighting with...we're all on th same team, no matter what position we hold in whatever branch we hold it in.

[Drivin&Cryin]

You are not from around here are you? If I had to guess I would say West Coast?



You better step back in line son, I am an Air Force vet and take offense to that. I can't believe that you were in the military and your going to insult another member of the "same team" ??!! I went through some rough shit...weeks of survival training, ground combat skills training, weapons tactics and swat team training..and what did you do? Have you been to Iraq? Have you been to Saudi? Have you been shot at? If so, I feel sorry for you that you have this opinion. Just because the Air Force takes better care of they're people doesn't make us weak.
And for anyone else that has a problem with that and is going to say shit about someone else from another branch, but we're fighting for the same side...you'll be hearing from me....It's too bad that the government is wasting alot of money and time on idiots that still have they're heads up they're own ass. Think about what country your fighting for and who your fighting with...we're all on th same team, no matter what position we hold in whatever branch we hold it in.

[Team Redneck]

You better step back in line son, I am an Air Force vet and take offense to that. I can't believe that you were in the military and your going to insult another member of the "same team" ??!! I went through some rough shit...weeks of survival training, ground combat skills training, weapons tactics and swat team training..and what did you do? Have you been to Iraq? Have you been to Saudi? Have you been shot at? If so, I feel sorry for you that you have this opinion. Just because the Air Force takes better care of they're people doesn't make us weak.
And for anyone else that has a problem with that and is going to say shit about someone else from another branch, but we're fighting for the same side...you'll be hearing from me....It's too bad that the government is wasting alot of money and time on idiots that still have they're heads up they're own ass. Think about what country your fighting for and who your fighting with...we're all on th same team, no matter what position we hold in whatever branch we hold it in.

Don't get your panties in such a wad there YG. The ex-swabbie and I are good friends, and have a running ribbing going between ourselves.

One thing this forum does not have, unlike some others that I frequent, is any infighting, and no bad blood between the members, lets keep it that way.

There has always been, and always will be inter-service rivialry, and as long as it is good-natured, it is good fun.

Now....

Back to "tell me why in the hell we work offshore again?".

Sorry Ted.

[kajunKLR]

touche' redneck, good one. lol Cool12


Sounds like my relief.

Hang in there hand, go watch the roughnecks pull a wet string, or clean pits, or replace a module on a mudpump, you'll be happy to go back to the lab and talk 'maters with your relief!!l

[yankeegirl]

Don't get your panties in such a wad there YG.

One thing this forum does not have, unlike some others that I frequent, is any infighting, and no bad blood between the members, lets keep it that way.


Do not tell me to "not get my panties in a bunch" first of all. And the people I know do not show rivalry between different branches, we all have the same amount of respect towards each other. We have all been through different shit indvidually and I have personally seen some gruesome shit, so when I see someone showing disrespect towards another service member, joking or not, I will take offense, so deal with it.
And trust me, alot of the people on here know me, so I don't have bad blood with anyone on here and that is the way I plan on keeping it.

[Save-the-Manatee]

I gave the Air Force 6 good years. I'm a bit confused here. Should that comment have offended me also? It was a simple joke between two friends....Nothing more nothing less......qwer

[Rocky]

yes, but you really are a weenie......... Try not to get any mustard on your skirt.....




I gave the Air Force 6 good years. I'm a bit confused here. Should that comment have offended me also? It was a simple joke between two friends....Nothing more nothing less......qwer

[yankeegirl]

I gave the Air Force 6 good years. I'm a bit confused here. Should that comment have offended me also? It was a simple joke between two friends....Nothing more nothing less......qwer
I was just trying to say that it offended me...maybe it doesn't bother anyoone else...I said what I wanted to say about it so everyone knows how I feel about it and that is all, end of story..thanks for coming everyone, make sure to tip your waitress.

[Save-the-Manatee]

If I opened my mouth every time someone said something that offended me. I would be a very busy man. I don't like rap music so you know what I do? I don't listen to rap music. Occasionally, I am forced to listen to the music blasting out of some ghetto creeper trolling down the avenue. I suppose that is just collateral damage. I don't scream at the guy and call him names.

[Team Redneck]

Do not tell me to "not get my panties in a bunch" first of all. And the people I know do not show rivalry between different branches, we all have the same amount of respect towards each other. We have all been through different shit indvidually and I have personally seen some gruesome shit, so when I see someone showing disrespect towards another service member, joking or not, I will take offense, so deal with it.
And trust me, alot of the people on here know me, so I don't have bad blood with anyone on here and that is the way I plan on keeping it.


Oh jeez,

The different branches have been ribbing each other since, when, the Civil War??? (Well, the Calvary had to wait a while to fuck with the Air Force)

Just a natural, healthy rivalry, and in this case, between friends.

Lighten up YG, I'm sure you really are a sweetie!

[ncognito70508]

Well, ladies and gentlemen.

To keep peace.

Walt, please accept my apology .

[JayD]

Thanks for keeping this uh, lively discussion fairly civil folks

Some of us drifted away from different boards because of all the back biting mean spiritedness

We hope that will never be the case here

Thanks again for your support in this matter

::moderator::

[Team Redneck]

Well, ladies and gentlemen.

To keep peace.

Walt, please accept my apology .

Don't cry little squid...
It'll be allright.

[Team Redneck]

Hey YankeeGirl, I want to roll your mouse wheel!!

SmoochXX

[Team Redneck]

Thanks for keeping this uh, lively discussion fairly civil folks

Some of us drifted away from different boards because of all the back biting mean spiritedness

We hope that will never be the case here

Thanks again for your support in this matter

::moderator::

Yarsir, bossman!!

[MWM]

So.................offshore workers, how long did it take you to get tired of fishing? And, do those rigs sway much like when you're standing on a tall bridge?

Just curious.

Mike

[Ritten]

Our rig is dynamicly positioned, which means it uses it's own thrusters, beacons on the seafloor, and satellite to keep it in one spot. Because of that, they won't let us fish over the side in fear of getting something tangled up in the thrusters.

The rig does sway when the seas pick up and for someone new to the oilfield they can feel it moving even in calm water. I've had numerous new hands come on and tell me, "Man, I didn't realize this thing would move so much". After a few days, you get used to it though.

[blkhalo996]

So.................offshore workers, how long did it take you to get tired of fishing? And, do those rigs sway much like when you're standing on a tall bridge?

Just curious.

Mike

The rig, I'm on isn't a DP rig, it's moored with 8 anchors. It moves some, but like said above, you get used to it. The company I work for won't let you fish from the rig, like we use to do in the past. Now I know some guys fish when they making checks on the lifeboats. That's their loop hole, since they aren't physically on the rig.

Chopper gets here in abour 1 hour and I'm off this bucket!!!Cool12 Now I get to deal with the issues in town (Luanda, Angola) to get to the airport and 3 different planes and I'll be home. I'll catch you guys on the flip-side!!!

[Ritten]

Chopper gets here in abour 1 hour and I'm off this bucket!!!Cool12 Now I get to deal with the issues in town (Luanda, Angola) to get to the airport and 3 different planes and I'll be home. I'll catch you guys on the flip-side!!!


Enjoy it man!! Mine leaved in about 2 hours and I'll be starting my hitch..Thumbs Down

[MWM]

The old saying "Never assume anything" apparently wasn't on my mind, because I was thinking ya'll were able to fish on the rigs! It must really be hard to be told "You can't fish off the rig" when you're surrounded by water and can probably see the fish swimming by laughing at you.Head Bang

[yankeegirl]

Oh good god, what the hell wa I smoking the other day?! Guess I was having a moment....sorry dudes...I tend to get a little touchy when I read stuff about military issues. Oh well. Who the hell am I kiding, I tease other branch members too, like Kevin for instance, I know your a jarhead, but your the only jarhead I know thats cool and not demented. Course I can't say much whenever I wore my blues...damn bus driver....hahahha!! I looked like a bus driver....I hated wearing that! And whats up with the new fatigues...UGLY!!! I'm glad I'm not in anymore, the new ones are bad! And them Navy boys, lookin' like the little guy off a cracker jack box...those things must've been uncomfortable...walking around in them polyester bell bottoms..hahahhaha!! ooohh, feel much better...carry on....

[nickatnite]

Can't fish off of our rig either and you can see these monster tuna swimming by all the time....

[Ritten]

It must really be hard to be told "You can't fish off the rig" when you're surrounded by water and can probably see the fish swimming by laughing at you.Head Bang




That's not the worse part. The really bad situation is when one of the charter boats is pulling lines a few hundred yards off the rig and there's a couple of hot, bikini clad, Hawaiian Tropic models sunning up on the bow. Then you really find out what it means to want to "go fishing".

[nickatnite]

That's not the worse part. The really bad situation is when one of the charter boats is pulling lines a few hundred yards off the rig and there's a couple of hot, bikini clad, Hawaiian Tropic models sunning up on the bow. Then you really find out what it means to want to "go fishing".

NOOOOOOOO...

That is the only to shut down a drilling rig and no one gets the blame for "rig downtime"....

[blkhalo996]

Well, it was another typical day in Luanda for me,,,,,

Chopper lands, no one there to meet me, no passport, no visa, no tickets!

Damn, you got to love it. 4 hrs. later and many drinks, I`m abord Angola Airlines,,,,now in Paris waiting on next flight. What some of us go through to make a buck!

It`s 9:00 in the morning here? and I`m already drinking!!!! Drunk is the only way to fly!!!!!

[MWM]

Can't fish off of our rig either and you can see these monster tuna swimming by all the time....

That's gotta suck!

[MWM]

That's not the worse part. The really bad situation is when one of the charter boats is pulling lines a few hundred yards off the rig and there's a couple of hot, bikini clad, Hawaiian Tropic models sunning up on the bow. Then you really find out what it means to want to "go fishing".

And, that's gotta suck even worse!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kajunKLR]

Well, it was another typical day in Luanda for me,,,,,

Chopper lands, no one there to meet me, no passport, no visa, no tickets!

Damn, you got to love it. 4 hrs. later and many drinks, I`m abord Angola Airlines,,,,now in Paris waiting on next flight. What some of us go through to make a buck!

It`s 9:00 in the morning here? and I`m already drinking!!!! Drunk is the only way to fly!!!!!

i trully feel your pain brother, been there done that.

[NOGILLS2]

wow, I finaly have it my way, after 35 years I work 1 for 2, I take 2 days off for every day I work now. So I work four weeks and take eight off! I actually work when I want to, or want a new toy.

I am an inland boat Captain. ICWW and The Mississippi river. We push barges all over, with anything in them, from jet fuel to soy beans.

but I feel your pain, travel to get home, coworkers, food, bosses, and just general idiots.


ps Yankeegirl, thank you for your service, my son spent a year in "The Ghan" for his senior trip, since then I really apreciate what happens in places like that. Thank all of you that served in the military!